Young voices that are passionate; young voices that are powerful; young voices that want to make change and challenge systems. Molly Pham is one of these young voices. Appearing as a panelist on Up2Us Sports’ 2021 Virtual Celebration for National Girls and Women in Sports Day and on Up2Us Sports’ Young Voices Series with Oakland Lacrosse Club - Molly is no stranger to Up2Us Sports. On and off the field, Molly displays tenacity, wisdom, strength, passion, and power for social justice. She is vocal and passionate about fighting the systems of oppression, and improving body image and self-esteem.
The Research Project that Led to Change
Body image became a struggle for Molly between 7th-9th grade, and it wasn’t until her work on a school research project that her eyes were opened. “I wanted to understand myself more. Why am I so self-conscious? Why is my self-esteem so low? And why is my view of my body so horrible?” These questions led Molly to not only a deeper understanding of herself, but the systems around her. “We grow up in a world where there are all of these standards placed on us; it’s a whole system of oppression – including sexism, classism, and ageism. It was that moment I came to the conclusion that this isn’t my fault, and I shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling this way.” This research project became the catalyst for Molly to make changes in her own life and then start to bring change to others, especially youth, by having tough conversations with others. “People need to be more aware of where everything comes from because it’s made up for us to be like this – everything from trendy clothes to skin care products to prevent aging. It’s fitting into this one mold we see in magazines and on social media with influencers who have a specific body type that everyone wants. Everything around us is making us feel like we need to be something else. I started to move away from that system because I realized that I don’t want to fit into a mold that isn’t a fit for me.”
Journey to Lacrosse
One of the most meaningful experiences that encouraged and sustained the aforementioned changes for Molly was joining Oakland Lacrosse Club. Aside from recess basketball in 5th grade, Molly never felt encouraged to join a sports team when she was younger; she felt afraid to join due to the stereotypes and expectations that were subtly shaping the way she perceived everything. Curious as to what made her join, Molly laughed, “Honestly, I just wanted to skip dance practice and saw that Oakland Lacrosse Club was introducing lacrosse to students at my school.” But this small decision to skip dance class ended up being the choice that changed Molly’s life for the better. Despite the initial intimidation, lacrosse quickly became a space that encouraged growth, positive communication, and unconditional love.
The Oakland Lacrosse Environment
Despite the fact that Molly didn’t grow up in a team sport world, the lacrosse environment has been the most welcoming and loving environment. She noticed way more tension and pressure with other sport communities she had interacted with in the past. The openness and instant connection with lacrosse players made Oakland Lacrosse feel like a safe space. “The environment feels like home,” Molly says. Oakland Lacrosse also helped Molly improve her overall self-esteem and body image. The desire to fit the physical mold of what she thought everyone would like was a narrative that impeded her early lacrosse days. But as time went on, being on a team made her realize that being surrounded by people she loves and cares so deeply about was the motivation she needed to take care of herself, physically and mentally. “I recently realized that to be the best friend and teammate that I’m capable of being, I had to love myself and take care of my body. Eating what makes me happy and what my body needs will allow me to be physically well. Taking care of myself will allow me to have the mental space to not only be there for myself but others as well.”
Influential Coaches and Safe Spaces in Sport
Providing a safe space remains a vital component to improve the well-being of youth athletes, including self-esteem and body image. Having honest and open conversations are crucial, albeit intimidating - especially since we’re taught to be ashamed of our struggles. Molly shares the belief that “having open conversations makes it known that struggles are real and okay to have.” One of the most positive and influential aspects for Molly in this area has been her Oakland Lacrosse coaches, Coach Brozy and Coach Monica. “They always show their love through constantly reminding me of my strength and validating every emotion I feel. The safe space my coaches provide me allows me to truly reflect on who I am and appreciate myself in ways that were unknown to me.”
Future Hopes for Youth Athletes
Molly hopes the future for young athletes looks similar to her experience with Oakland Lacrosse: “Lacrosse has helped me grow from the person who was held back by the belief that my exterior determined my worth. It helped me realize that the bridge leading to goodness could only be built from prioritizing myself.” She hopes athletes will be filled with welcoming and loving spaces where judgement is left at the door; she hopes youth athletes are truly aware of what determines their worth - which is who they are from within; she hopes that coaches and adults can create a safe place for athletes to be vulnerable and have these tough conversations so they can feel heard and less alone.
